As I am standing there, practically washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, I start thinking of the reason why.
Why do I add more to my daily tasks of trying to make a nice clean house for my kids? Why do I scrub and scrub until my fingers have no feeling? Why am I NOT sitting down and playing with my kids? Or just sitting there watching my sweet new daughters sleep? I will tell you why.
In my last post about my PPD I mentioned my parents. No, not ALL my issues have to do with my parents, but the stem of my issues do. Growing up it was my Dad saying stuff about me being fat, or lazy or that 'he has forgotten more than I will ever learn'. Then my Mom being so critical about how to make sure things are clean and tidy.
Standing there scrubbing the dishes to put them in the dishwasher I hear my Mom's voice, "If you have a dishwasher you should never have a sink of dirty dishes.". Well, yeah mom, but I also have kids who wish to play and have a relationship with me... much like I wanted one with you growing up.
My mom and I have a good relationship now, but it would have been nice to have one while growing up.
No comments:
Post a Comment